(You can measure your boob size by comparing them to fruit Katy Perry allegedly has C-cups, or, grapefruits.) This list is an exercise in horny anthropology, an attempt to establish the 2000s Horny Culture canon - the good, the (mostly) bad, and the absurd.
The following list is a taxonomy of the aughts’ horniest pop-culture moments, forgotten formative memories, the Cosmo tips that are forever burned into our brains. The bygone era, which for the purpose of this list will be referred to as Horny Culture, was tainted by exploitation, and it’s worth exploring how we got there and how we got out. Everyone can have their own personalized, algorithmically curated e-stash. As porn and porn-adjacent content became available at the tap of a touchscreen (Pornhub launched in 2007, Instagram in 2010), sex bled into pop culture with less frequency. It was a slow death, brought forth in part by the internet’s tightening grip on our personal lives and the media’s recognition of women as … people. The decline of early-aughts horny culture can be attributed to a few main developments. Both shows employ intimacy coordinators, whom directors routinely bring in to protect actors “ doing hyper-exposed work.” Euphoria takes the opposite approach with flashy soft-core cinema, Skinemax with an HBO budget.
Shows like Normal People are lauded for their “realistic” sex scenes - slow to start, sometimes nervous, and free from cinematic orgasms. Sex still sells, of course, but it’s packaged in self-awareness, layered with years of internet discourse about consent and kink and modern intimacy. Think: Axe commercials where women want to have sex with you at the grocery store, buddy comedies about taking a road trip to lose your virginity, Maxim covers teasing a list of the best outdoor gear with the tagline “ Spank Mother Nature!” Women sported low-rise pants and high-rise thongs, and men wore trucker hats that suggested careers in adult film. The sheer horniness of the aughts was unique from other eras in its total lack of subtlety, distinctly raunchy in a way that has fallen out of vogue. Married men who creep with other married men respect discretion and fail-proof deception is the order of the day, thus their sexual secrets are safe.Photo-Illustration: by Vulture Photos by Warner Bros, Kevin Kane/WireImage, K Wright/New Line/Kobal/Shutterstock, Moviestore/Shutterstock and Summit Entertainmentĭuring the 2000s, pop culture’s depictions of sex tended toward goofy, as if Hollywood had been run by teenage boys with cartoon eyes popping out of their skulls and mile-long tongues hanging out of their mouths. Cheater websites are just a click away from the premium pay sites that advertise Married Men for Married Men, to the free Craigslist personal ads, a man who wants to creep will find a willing, married partner in just a few keystrokes.
The Internet has made it easier now than ever for marrieds to find each other and live out their fantasies. Then after about seven years, the high falls away and their gay identity starts emerging.” They fall in love with their wives, they have children, and they’re on a chemical, romantic high. This urge starts to reveal itself at the seven-year mark, Kort has said. When heterosexual men have fantasies to be with other men, it’s not an attraction to the male as much as it is an attraction to the sex act itself.
That sexual need runs the show, not the person fulfilling the need, adds Joe Kort, a licensed sexologist out of Michigan. On many levels, he is more likely to see being “bi” primarily as a sexual need.” “Also, if a guy is bi, it is much less likely that he has taken the time to really immerse himself in the gay community or to have a deep exclusive emotional sexual relationship with a man. “These men get all the benefits of being married,” argues Yost.